Waiting For The Dough: aka An Interlude
by Swoops
Summary: Small oneshot, sequel to Sex, Lies, and Innervates. The snarky Forsaken priest discovers that appearances are not only deceiving, but sometimes quite inconvenient.


_Author's Note: The following tidbit is directly related to my previous story, Sex, Lies, and Innervates. I would highly suggest reading SLI if you have not, otherwise the following will make little to no sense. As far as the content here, this was a quick one-shot written for the forums on a thread about people preparing for BC. More will inevitably come later, I suspect. - Swoop_

The cool night air was still and peaceful that evening, though the rest of the world seemed to be holding it's breath the haven of Moonglade was as serene and calm as always. Soft beams of moonlight fell on the buildings, most dark save one or two, and in one of them a man puttered away with books and scrolls, seemingly oblivious to the late hour and as peaceful as the air around him.

That was until the priest leapt into the room. She didn't even bother using the door, instead swinging quietly in from one of the open windows to perch on a particularly large stack of books‡, golden eyes cautiously taking in the books, the scrolls, the room, and at last the little man who had yet to notice her - a problem soon remedied as he turned and yelped, as always, like a little girl.

"My HEART! Priest, you really ought to use the appropriate doorway, the window is far from...er...safe for those that wish to visit me, and I see you have decided to visit me, I do so love it when people decided to come, and stay, and chat with poor Umber-" The little man prattled on and on as Swoop stared at him, settling herself comfortably on the bookstack and waiting for him to finish. Five minutes later, she finally interrupted his litany.

"Umber."

"...yes?" He paused in his incessant babbling to tilt his head and return her stare.

"You...sent for me, Umber. What in ten hells do you WANT?" She glared at him impatiently.

"Oh. Oh! Well you see, that's actually a rather fascinating story in and of itself, full of-"

"Spill it, and stop wasting my time, there are other...things I could be doing."

Her curt words finally seemed to reach him and he nodded. "Ah. Yes. Well. I have a job for you."

"I'm not taking any new jobs." She stood, reaching for the window.

Umber giggled, an unnerving noise coming from a full-grown man, and shook his head. "Oh, oh no it's not that simple, you see. You don't really have a choice in the matter."

Another lengthy pause, and Swoop slowly settled back down on the book stack, favoring Umber with a most murderous stare, tapping a bony finger on the dusty stack beneath her. "...and how, pray tell, is that possible, little man?"

"Well that's the interesting part. You remember, er, that scroll that you brought me? The one with the druid-‡‡"

"...yes."

"-well I happened to find a cross-reference in one of my books here, rather by accident you know, and when I cross-referenced THAT with another tome I had in the stacks, I found out what exactly that scroll was. And I think that there are several people that would be most interested in that scroll, and interested in who had it, and interested in what had happened to it, were I to tell anyone. Several very...important...people." He folded his arms in a gesture of self-confidence that was completely lost on the priest, who began a series of giggles of her own.‡‡‡

"What, the salad recipe?" At his dour nod, she laughed. "Good lord Umber, that wasn't important - hell the druid and I chucked it after the murloc translated it for us."

Umber blinked. "You...threw it away, then."

Swoop grinned. "Yes, and I doubt anyone would find it, why would they want that old thing anyway - important buffet coming up?"

The little man cleared his throat nervously. "That wasn't just a salad recipe, priest. That was a recipe for food that when properly prepared will return the dead to life. Er...un-life. Not...like you, I don't...think. The references I had weren't terribly clear. But anyone that has that scroll has the key to returning their loved ones from the grave - or in extreme situations, raising an entire army. An army of undead."

The room was silent then, as the priest absorbed this information, her calm gaze doing little to disguise what she decided must be by now the very audible pounding of what passed for her heart. "I...does anyone else know this, Umber? Anyone at all?"

He shook his head, a grim smile on his face. "Not yet. And not at all, if you work for me."

"And what," she intoned, "precisely prevents me from killing you right here and now and ensuring that information continues to go nowhere?"

To his credit, Umber stood his ground. "The guards outside."

"And if I were to say, send someone after you after I've already gone?"

He shook his head. "There are failsafes in place. Should I die...unexpectedly, you will be the first person they look for. I may not look terribly important, but I can assure you my position within the Circle is highly respected, and there would be many, many people upset were I to die. Irritated, even. Angry."

It was at that moment that Swoop was keenly awakened to the slow, sinking realization that she was, in layman's terms, screwed.

"Fine. What do you need me to do, and it better not take forever, I've very important things I have to be doing-"

"-beyond the Dark Portal, yes, I know. Your guild is already preparing for the journey, I know that, too." At her look of surprise, Umber smiled, a very cold smile that bore little to no resemblance to his usual nervous nature. "I know many things, priest. Did you really think I spent all my time looking through books and paying that little attention to the rest of the world, or in this case, beyond it? I know where you plan to go, and I have...friends, to put it nicely, on the other side. Contacts, if you will. There is much, much more on the other side of that creation than you can possibly imagine - and much, much information to be gathered from it. You...will be gathering it for me, and returning it to me here. My contacts have all the information required on what it is you need to be looking for. The first is in the settlement of Thrallmar, just on the other side of the portal - you find the settlement, and my contact will find you. I don't expect as you'll want to dally too long, I am, after all, on a schedule as is everyone else, and I cannot wait around forever for you to return these items to me." With that, he ended what was probably the most concise and straightforward speech of his life, and in an uncharacteristic move, waited for a response.

"...look I DO have other business over there, with my guild-"

"-oh I think you'll find the two will tie together quite nicely."

"...you aren't exactly leaving me with much of a choice, are you?"

"I believe it has already been stated - you have none. Choice, that is. I'd suggest you start gathering supplies, from what little information I've been able to gather, resources are scarce over there."

Swoop's mouth opened and closed, rather like a fish, Umber noted dryly, and she nodded. With a soft-spoken "I'll be in touch", she swept out the window the way she came, noting to herself that at the very least it was quite interesting to see that Umber had something that resembled a spine.

And after she left, Umber sat down weakly on yet another stack of books, trembling with fear and contemplating what he had just done. And as_ that_ realization sunk in, he began to smile a small, terribly smug smile.

_...to be continued _

‡ - Swoop didn't so much enter a room as ravage it unrelentingly until it gave way from sheer force of will.

‡‡ - See the story Sex, Lies, and Innervates for details.

‡‡‡ - They were, incidentially, much less unnerving.


End file.
